Symptoms and diagnosis
In the beginning, I had a fever for two weeks. I had a fever almost every day at the same time which was so weird. So I went to do a blood test. I found out that my haemoglobin has a huge drop out of nowhere. I asked my doctor but there was no specific reason for this. They thought that it may be to corona. So I went for a chest CT scan. On my chest CT scan, it was found that I had a tumour just beside my heart. Further, I had to go for a biopsy and then I was diagnosed with lymphoma cancer. I started taking chemotherapy just one month after the diagnosis and the treatment lasted for nearly four months.
Side effects and challenges
When I found that there was a tumour, I thought that it might be water. Or it might be anything else except cancer. There’s no cancer history in my whole family. So, it didn’t come to my mind even for a second that it might be cancer. After the biopsy, when they told me that the tumour was cancer, I was in denial for two weeks. Then, I started to accept that I am a cancer patient when I realised that this has a reason.
Life through the treatment
Moving forward with treatment, a lot of things changed like I lost my hair and I couldn’t move anymore like before. I felt like giving up. When I got out of the chemotherapy, I was in a lot of pain and I even vomited and was unable to move. Being a mother of two, I can’t help my kids anymore. I felt down due to this most of the time. My head felt so heavy and my body was like no more my body at all. This was due to the cortisone and the treatments given to me. I lost a few of my looks which is a side effect of chemotherapy. I had to take chemotherapy every two weeks.
Once chest pain was so unbearable that I had to take drugs to move on. I was so tired all the time. Slowly after the second week of chemotherapy, I got healthier and was able to move a bit. I tried to enjoy everything around me. I cherished my kids and felt everything I had was a blessing from God. Then, I realized that if I get healthier I can help my kids. I can also help others. So, I should accept the things given by God as he gives things for a reason. I felt more satisfied after this acceptance.
I feel very grateful that I have kids and about the meaning of life. Sometimes, I didn’t want to take chemotherapy. Then after calming myself down, I would raise my head up and move on. I said to myself that I’m choosing this for a reason. I enjoyed seeing my kids and my mom and dad during my treatment. Now, when someone calls me and tells me they have a problem and I have inspired them. I find this amazing.
Message for other cancer fighters
My advice for them is that if you are passing through this then God puts you through this for a reason. So, feel grateful and you can move on. You will get tired. Sometimes you will feel like giving up. I can’t lie to you that it’s not easy. It’s not easy at all. But it is a great blessing. You have to enjoy the pain that you are chosen for. We are only a few and God chooses us for this for a reason. Try to inspire yourself so you can inspire others to enjoy their life.
Dealing with negative thoughts
Whenever I have a negative thought I used to cry. It’s not bad to cry and let the emotions flow out of your body. You have to get rid of them. Find someone who can listen to your thoughts and be optimistic about them. So, whenever I had such thoughts, I opened my camera whenever there was no one around me to take out my thoughts. You should do things that you love. Go watch a movie or make some popcorn and go get chocolates.
Lessons that I learned
The biggest lesson I learned was that you should not take anything for granted. I should enjoy every blessing in front of me. I started to enjoy the taste of the cold water and I tried to enjoy everything around me and everything I didn’t know. Everything I have is a blessing from God. So You should see the beauty inside of yourself. And see it before others see it. You have to accept yourself before others do. You shouldn’t mind others. Just love yourself and love your body.
In the future, I really wish to start taking courses for coaching cancer patients. So I’m thinking of taking this as a job. I wish to help others.
Now I know the love of the people around me, I can really understand how much they love me and how much they can sacrifice for me. I’m so grateful that God showed me the love of the people around me in my life. I am grateful that my body can hold, accept and fight all this pain. I’m so grateful to know that I’m strong enough. I’m a strong person now who can fight even if my heart is full of pain and my body is fighting the pain. And now I know how much I’m blessed in my life. God took health from me but I was rewarded with too many things. Cancer, by the way as I always said, didn’t take anything from me. Cancer gave me tolerance and patience. It gave me love from people and showed me the real meaning of life.