I was just married and had a small baby. My mother-in-law went on a vacation, and father in law was staying at home with us.
Every night the bed used to get wet with blood, so it was quite shocking because my mother in law didn’t tell me anything nor did my husband know about it so when she came back home we asked her, does he have piles and she said no he doesn’t have piles, but the doctor gives him some medicine to pass the stool well.
We said this seems to be quite serious, so we need to go to the doctor. So we consulted a doctor and had his PET scan done, and it was cancer.
He got admitted to the hospital, and doctors said that it is confirmed that he has cancer, and he needs to be operated.
During that time, my husband complained that he is passing stool very often, so we consulted a family doctor, and he prescribed some medicines, but it didn’t work for him. Hence, we went to homeopathy doctor not knowing it could be something serious, but at the same time, he had to go to the hospital to see my father in law because he got operated. Soon after two weeks, my father in law came back home.
A friend suggested to get my husband’s stool checked, so my brother went with him to the doctor and had his endoscopy done because I can’t go with him as I had a cyst in my fallopian tube so I had to go to a gynecologist who brainwashed me that it can be cancerous and I will have to remove my uterus so be prepared for it.
So when reports came, it was confirmed that he had colon cancer, it was very shocking for us because he was a very active person.
We consulted a doctor who wanted to know if he eats red meat, but we said no because we are vegetarian, and he also asked him about smoking and drinking, so my husband said that he used to smoke in the beginning, but now he doesn’t and nor did he drink.
My friend was an anesthetic, so she came to the hospital and got him admitted, not knowing that things will be very grave.
He was feeling terrible about it, but since my father in law has come out of the whole thing very well, he said okay maybe it’s just small cancer. We didn’t know much about it, but my friend told me that the stage of cancer is quite bad.
We said okay things happen the way it has to happen and decided to have an operation, but we didn’t tell anyone that it is cancer, not even to our parents, we just said to them that it is a small surgery but have to break this news to the parents, so we finally told them.
He finally got operated, and the doctor said he is okay. After a week, he came back home, and again, after a week or two, he was fine and used to drive to his office as he loves to drive.
During that time a doctor called me, so I, my friend and my husband went, and the doctor told my husband to write a will, and as a wife, he also told me to write, and we have seen in Hindi movies that they write will in their last days, so it was frightening for us.
The next day doctor called and said you come along only with your friend, so we went in the evening, and he told us that “we will do all possible for us.” I just ran out of the room and screamed. I was so upset that I didn’t want to see that doctor again. I said this could not happen he does exercise every day and there are things very good with him, how can a man who is so healthy, so fit and so brothered about his health, how can cancer happen to him. I was so angry with God that I said god you can’t do this to him, please save his life, we have planned so much.
He used to go to the office and come back, and then he started having some health problems, so we consulted a doctor who used to draw water from his stomach. When his stomach bloat, he can’t eat anything much, and he used to be on liquid and eat less. It was painful for me to see him like this because he was a foodie. There was a mirror in our room, so I covered that mirror and told him that you could not see the reflection of yourself here.
Many things were going at our home; the priest used to come, many mrityunjay jhaaps, reiki sessions, magnetic therapy treatment, but we didn’t feel sound vibration, so we stopped.
My neighbors used to help me so much, they use to come at home sit with me, look after me so well, take care of me and ask me if I want them to cook food for me but I used to eat what my husband eats so I always denied that but I am very grateful to have such caring neighbors.
I used to sit with my husband and talk with him, read books for him, but it was only me, my friend and doctor who knew that he would not live for long. I needed to talk to someone because I was not able to bear it. Slowly my friend broke the silence and told the family that this is the thing; it may be fatal, but we are not sure it could be, so let’s pray.
His health started deteriorating, and that was the time we thought he might not live, it was holi time, and he used to love playing Holi, so all our neighbors came they put colors on him and had a pool party, we wanted to feed him with good food, but he ate very little.
He was under chemotherapy, and for the first chemo, he was in the hospital and had side effects like not eating, vomiting, and many others. But after the first chemo, my friend used to give him chemotherapy at home and give him injections when he had the pain to relieve him from that.
The previous night when he died he was in pain, and my friend said, because of the bodyweight and all I’m just going to cheat, and she injected saline water but he said what you are doing is wrong you are not giving me painkiller you are giving me saline water, and I can feel it because the pain is not relieved.
He said I’d do anything you just give me painkiller because I want to relieve some pain, she couldn’t do anything, but she promised that he would sleep at night and he did sleep.
In the morning he became severe, my friend stayed up with us at night, so she checked him, gave him painkillers and checked his nerves, she said we need to take him to hospital, but he said that no I don’t want to go to the hospital I want to be here only, and he kept his head on my lap and died.
The first thing I saw was that he was relieved of the pain, I didn’t feel that he had gone away, but the only thing I can see is he is relieved from that pain.
He shadows us:
I explained to my daughter that God loves him more than us, and he has taken him because there was some duty up there, so God has called him on emergency, and only on his birthday, we’ll send him gas balloons and go to the beach because he always loved beaches.
My father still lives healthily, and soon after mother in law got stomach cancer.
There are only good people around me. My daughter wanted to become an oncologist, but when she passed her exam and got admission in medical college, she refused and joined mass media. We strongly believe that my husband is always there for us whenever we need him, and he always shadows us so much.
My daughter got married and settled. I am now a retired teacher; things have been very good. God has been very kind to us; when good happens to us, we thank God and then my husband for always being there for us.
We miss him so much, but we know he is there with us, we celebrate his birthday along with my neighbors.
Don’t sit and regret for what has gone or for what has happened, learn to move forward in life.