I would like to start off the saying I am highly blessed. I am trying not to cry because everything I have been through with cancer has took a toll on my life tremendously like stuff I am used to doing I can’t do. People who I thought were going to be there for me, were not, including family members. I didn’t have anybody in but my mom, dad and brother; my mom was taking me to every treatment, in fact, she still does.
Right now I would like to say I am cancer-free because I had to have everything removed. My uterus is removed but in me it’s a whirlwind of depression to the point where I couldn’t get out of bed. I couldn’t do anything to the point where I thought about committing suicide I didn’t know why it was happening to me. I used to ask God, “Why Me?”.
When I first got diagnosed with cancer, I didn’t think it was going to be this bad. I was having too many periods; a lot of women do not know the warning signs of cervical cancer or endometriosis. I found out that cervical cancer or ovarian cancer is not detected in your blood, so you must have to have a pap smear once a year and a biopsy done at least once a year.
I had some people for my church, my mother, my father, my aunt and of course I had my service dog. I have a service dog named Samson that was my support system and then I joined the group called circle cancer support group for patients with cervical cancer or family members that have passed away from cervical cancer. So I joined that group, so that was my support system; honestly speaking, I didn’t have anybody else.
I am not doing any treatment right now because they said I am cancer-free as everything was removed. When I was diagnosed with cancer I was in remission after the chemotherapy treatments for three months. I was sick during the whole time with chemotherapy treatments, then I went to remission for seven and a half months, then my periods started to get really bad again so my mom took me right back to the specialist and she said the cancer is back and it’s severe so get her to the hospital and they set up for me to have a hysterectomy because I refused to do any more chemotherapy treatments.
Chemotherapy had affected me badly. I had nerve damage, my legs still swell and I can’t be on them, I have severe nerve damage sometimes, so I have to use a cane. But I tried to work so I could pay off my bills because I made a gofundme account but nobody’s helping with that, hence I try to work so I can pay off medical bills. That’s one thing I am swamped with medical bills.
My aunt was sending me different kinds of herbs and herbal teas and a variety of special dinners. I couldn’t afford expensive food items because I didn’t have money for my prescriptions. Many of them are still at the pharmacy as I couldn’t pay for them. My medicare only covered 40% of my prescriptions so I am down to 12 pills when I was at one place taking 18 or something like that.
I have a lot of health issues and heart problems. I got a form of heart disease, I have arthritis, I have depression with anxiety. After cancer my doctor said it’s normal for women to experience depression especially if you don’t have any children and I can’t have any children now.
The doctors, the medical staff in my hospital, everyone was very helpful. They treated me like family.
My nieces and nephews made me happy. They would come and ask me how I was doing. My boyfriend couldn’t stay with me; he started lying to me, cheating on me, and it hurt me badly. He didn’t know how to handle everything I was going through, so our relationship ended. That’s when my depression set in. But if you think about it in a positive way you will come to know who is right for you and who who’s not right for you. Having cancer has really truly shown me who was there for me or who was not.
Five people were constantly there and even my friend Canisia, who lives in Texas, calls me every day to check on me. I have a friend named Erica who lives in Missouri. She calls me every other day to check on me, my cousin Yancy, he lives in Paris and emails me and calls me every day to check on me, but not not too many people were there. I got a lot of hate messages when people had told me oh you’re lying about having cancer or you’re photoshopping your pictures, I even went so far as posting my medical record and they said it’s photoshop and I get a lot of hate messages, oh go die for cancer or you’re ugly or you’re bald-headed and I just let that stuff affect me, but not anymore. Everybody’s entitled to their own opinion of what they think you know based on what they think, not what I am going through.
Lifestyle changes I made
I try to walk everyday. I have started making healthier food choices. I avoid greasy food. I can’t eat fried chicken, everything I have should be baked or boiled. I have also added exercise as a part of my daily routine.
Message to Cancer patients and caregiver
There were so many ups and downs with having cancer, not everyone survived, so I am fortunate to be alive and I honour this life. Whether you believe in god or high power or not, just keep your mind focused on him, keep him as your motivation, keep your family in your motivation that’s my advice for the cancer family. It’s not going to be easy, but keep fighting!