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Healing Circle Talks with Dr. Monica Gulati: Connect with Yourself

Healing Circle Talks with Dr. Monica Gulati: Connect with Yourself

About the Healing Circle

Healing Circles at Love Heals Cancer and ZenOnco.io are sacred and open-minded spaces for cancer patients and caregivers to share their emotions and experiences. Healing Circles are meant to bring a sense of calm and comfort to participants, making them feel much more accepted. These Healing Circles' primary objective is to help care providers, survivors, and cancer patients become mentally, physically, emotionally, and socially more robust after, before, or while undergoing Cancer Treatment. Our sacred space aims to bring about hopeful, thoughtful, and convenient processes of helping participants mitigate several healing obstacles. Our professional experts are dedicated to offering undivided guidance to cancer patients for safe and fast healing of the body, mind, spirit, and emotions.

About the Speaker

Dr Monica Gulati is a cancer survivor, trained Immunologist, and holistic healer. She did her PhD in Neuroimmunology from Zurich, but after her cancer episode, she was drawn towards holistic living and education. She co-founded the NGOLivinglight.with Taru Nagpal and is also a faculty at SACAR(Sri Aurobindo Centre for Advanced Research).

Ms. Taru Nagpal shares about Livinglight.in

Dr Monica Gulati and I founded Livinglight because we felt life could be more straightforward. The way we live is very mechanical, and it feels heavy. But being blessed with some lightness, we realized that if it is possible for us, it is also possible for others. We have sharing circles, parenting circles, and talks where the primary goal is to see and connect with oneself.

https://youtu.be/6GKk08H2SQ8

Dr Monica Gulati shares her journey

I got married in 2010 and conceived my first child in 2013. 2014, while pregnant with my second child, I noticed blood in my urine. Before my marriage, I lived a life of my own, not bound to any roles, and I was exploring my life entirely.

When I got married, no one forced me to do any work. Still, the influences after marriage were so overwhelming in the Indian context that from a liberal girl, I got trapped into a single role, which was suffocating for me, and even I failed to realize it.

When I gave birth to my second child, I had painless bleeding in the urine. Slowly, the frequency of blood in the urine increased, and then I consulted a doctor who asked me to go for an ultrasound of my urinary bladder. I underwent an Ultrasound and found that there were tumours in the bladder. It was shocking because nobody gets into illness at such a young age, and whenever you read the newspaper, you read that it is happening to older people.

My life had stopped, but I had to fight what was before me. Suddenly, all my attention went to where the cancer came from and what must be done. Before cancer, I was involved in self-inquiry, alternative medicines, and immunology, so I knew emotions are decisive in diseases. When it happened, it felt like God had given me an example of how emotions are connected to a disease.

The first thing that happened was an ample grounding that I felt. The second was that the time stood still, and nothing else suddenly mattered. My whole concentration was on this topic because it was a matter of life and death. The third thing that happened was a deep aspiration to know what was happening and a yearning to sort out my emotions. Because I created this myself, it was as if there was a raw material that I was preparing in a pressure cooker that was ready to blow the whistle. Cancer was the whistle, and I was the raw material on the gas stove. I knew this, but I didn't know how exactly to go about this.

I spoke to a few friends, told them what had happened, and asked them that I wanted someone to guide me on what was happening in my inner being because I had no clue how to go about it. Luckily, I found a therapist in Gurgaon and did nine back-to-back guided meditation sessions with him where he would say something to me, and I would get in touch with a deeper space within me, which I had ignored in my daily life.

From the beginning, cancer showed me more of myself. It broke me out of the cage in which I was living. From the beginning, no matter how painful, it was an opening in life and never a limitation.

The guided meditation sessions gave me the strength to go through the surgery, and my limiting beliefs were broken. When I realized that my life was opening for me because of cancer, I didn't complain. I never pray to God that I do not get cancer again because I feel that that is important for my growth; I am ready to go through that. What is more important for the universe is our growth as an individual.

Many powers come to you when you go through divine grace and are ready to be porous to all the experience that has come. I had two back-to-back surgeries and was expecting a near-death experience, but that did not happen. After the two surgeries, I had short therapy sessions where they washed the bladder with the BCG vaccine. After that, I took a significant risk that I never looked back at the doctors. I never wanted to go to the hospital or do scans again.

I stopped procrastinating. I feel life is more open, and I am more grounded now. When we are grounded, we can fly high, and it is essential that these experiences ground us and get us in touch with true essence, which is away from the mind, feeling, and body. When we get more hold of ourselves, everything is welcome, and we won't shy away from any remission.

I believe that God knows best. If I have to go through remission, I will go through that, but as of now, I am taking care of my physical, mental, and emotional space.

What I am doing today with my life is postponing my joy and gratifying myself in little pleasures not anchored in my inner presence. These were the burning questions for me after cancer happened. It is the most urgent thing that also ignited the birth of Livinglight. Taru Nagpal because she also realized after her near-death experience that it is critical to live now and not postpone anything for the future.

The lotus that blooms in the middle of the mud is a beautiful example that no matter how messed up life seems, we can still blossom, and everything is welcomed.

How do we not forget the lessons learned from the journey?

We are like a sponge; if we keep ourselves in the muddy water, we soak it, and if we keep ourselves in clean water, then we soak that. So, where we want to emerge is the choice that we have to make. Getting into bad habits and repeated toxic modes of thought is straightforward, but efforts must be put where we must consciously lead a life of purity.

It is a blessing because I must acknowledge cancer throughout my life; it will stay with me. I cannot ignore its presence; it reminds me continuously of my choice.

Through Livinglight. , we are continuously emerging ourselves day in and day out in words full of light, consciousness, and deepening inquiry about what I am doing, where we are heading, and the like. This is an active choice where we choose where we want to be every moment.

Dr Monica shares how she manages to do everything in this chaotic life.

It's a choice; we think we have to work and only work, but if we pause and take a second, we will see that we don't need a large bank balance. I need a life full of joy, peace, progress, and contentment today. The money that I am accumulating in the bank is the most significant burden that I am giving to myself. I am a slave to that money, and throughout my life, I will save that money only to land up in the hospital ultimately. I manage because I want to, not because the circumstances are cordial. I manage because of the conscious choice of not wanting to enter a life of chaos.

I need to choose where I need to be now; do I want to run in the rat race, earn more money and be discontented, or do I want to pause and live life? I have money, and it will last three years; I want to live life right now.

Dr Monica shares how she managed her negative thoughts when she was alone

Again, it's about the choice that we make. When I became conscious that there would only be misery if I went that way, I tried to see if something could be done about it.

First and foremost is grace; grace is present in each moment of our life. No person can say I don't have much grace, and others have more grace. It's just that we are not open to receiving it. When we are hard as a wall, it takes more water to get drained, but if we become soft like soil, it takes only a few drops to get wet.

The universe never does anything out of space, so if you are put into any situation, there must be some reason. It would help if you had some faith, and the lessons of that journey will be revealed to you. So, a little openness and faith are essential.

Everyone shares about how they manage Stress.

Akansha- Everyone has lots of Stress, and hearing about your inner self makes it clear that what comes out of you is very important. We must make the environment so peaceful that it makes us feel better.

Monica- I remind myself not to take life as much as possible for granted. Stress is something that has become almost intolerable. We must stand against our thoughts and feelings and choose lightness in life. We need to do higher work that keeps us absorbed and helps us not buy into the lollipop of Stress. We must ignore negative thoughts and feelings and absorb ourselves into something cleansing and detoxifying.

Taru- It feels more like a happening than a doing that now you cannot tolerate Stress. Whenever there is any amount of Stress, it becomes so big that you urgently need to pay attention and do something about it.

Mehul Vyas- I chant the Gayatri Mantra whenever I am scared of anything. So, I believe that there should be something you hold on to. I learned that I need to hold on to something because that keeps the negativity out. There are many negative people, but the best thing is just being away from such people, listening through one ear and throwing it out from the other. I go out for a walk, stay alone, and talk to myself whenever I am stressed.

Neha- I had three chemotherapies while I was pregnant. My first Chemotherapy was very painful because I felt my life had ended. But when the doctors told me nothing would happen to my kid, I gained the energy to fight. I avoid any Stress by just choosing to focus on positivity.

Atul- I try to live in the moment, which is the most important thing I've learned. We mostly expect something from the future or get affected by what happened in the past, but then we can choose correctly when we start living in the present. Whenever I feel stressed, I do meditation.

Rohit- We have Stress and negativity. We must do things that divert our minds and enjoy the little things. Whenever I feel stressed, I go through healing stories because I believe you learn from other people's journeys.

Dr. Monica shares about immunity.

The most considerable immunity is to be directly in touch with life. There is more to immunity than just eating good and healthy food. Every moment is an add-on to immunity.

Dr. Monica shares her thoughts on caregivers.

As caregivers, we do whatever we can but exhaust ourselves. The first thing I realized when I landed in the hospital was that I was dispensable. Even if I were to pass away at that moment, my kids would be cared for. So, as caregivers, we do whatever is required at the moment, keeping close contact with our well-being.

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