About the Healing Circle
The Healing Circle is a place of sanctity for cancer patients, winners, and caregivers as they share their cancer journey without the fear of biasness or prejudice. Our Healing Circle is built on the foundation of love and kindness. Each audience listens with compassion and empathy. They honour each other’s unique way of healing through cancer.
ZenOnco.io or Love Heals Cancer does not advise or amend or rescue, but believe that we have an inner guidance. Therefore, we rely on the power of silence to access it.
About the Speaker
Mr. Atul had been diagnosed with Retro Peritoneum De-differentiated Lipo Sarcoma (RP DDLS, an extremely rare type of soft tissue sarcoma, which occurs in only 0.2% of all types of cancers) in March 2017. Since then, he has undergone two surgeries, Chemotherapy and Radiation therapy. He lost his left kidney and femoral nerve in the process. He had taken a holistic approach to fight cancer.
Mr. Atul’s 5- pronged approaches on his Journey
It was a 5-pronged approach that I adopted in this journey against cancer:
- Realizing and accepting the situation.
- Adopting and responding to the situation.
- Finding a way to resolve the problem.
- Learning ways of resolving the problem and absorbing the lessons that the situation taught me.
- Implementing the solutions in my daily life and moving ahead.
This five-pronged approach helped me a lot to carry myself forward in this cancer journey.Difference between Curing and Healing
Curing is relieving a person from disease through medical treatment, while healing is a process of gaining sound health by the holistic approach which involves body, mind, and soul.
Soft Tissue Sarcoma- Mr. Atul’s First Diagnosis
I was feeling perfectly alright and didn’t have any symptoms at the time of my diagnosis; my diagnosis happened by chance. I am from Jaipur, and I had done my graduation from MNIT. On the occasion of 25 years of our pass- out, we had a silver jubilee celebration at my college. I had shifted to Japan, but every three months, I came to India and had my Ultrasound and blood reports done since I had a slightly fatty liver and was a hypertension patient too.
My brother- in- law has a diagnostic centre in Jaipur. So, in December 2016, after the celebration at college, I went to him and got my tests done. My tests were good and I went back to Japan. Later, in February, I again went to India, this time regarding my son’s admission in college. He wanted to get his tests done, so we all took the tests along with him. We were expecting that my brother- in- law will tell something about my son’s food allergy, but he asked me how my health was. I told him I was alright, which I was. He said that the test results were not good, so we had to see what exactly it was. He continued that sometimes this could happen due to technical issues in the lab, so let’s have all the tests repeated again the next day to confirm.
I went to the lab and got all my tests done, but again the reports were the same. ESR, which was supposed to be 15, was 120. The Blood Test reports also were not good, so he asked me to go for sonography as he had some doubt whether it could be TB or some other infection in the body, due to which, my WBC and ESR were so high.
I went for sonography in his lab, but nothing came out of it. The doctor was confused why it was so, and then my brother- in- law told him to do the sonography from the backside too. The doctor suspected that there were some black spots, so he referred me for a CT scan immediately.
While doing the CT scan, the technician could have realised that there was something wrong, so he asked me to lie down on my stomach so that they could do some more tests. It was an FNAC test, and the results were to come the next day.
I had a business meeting in Mumbai, so I went to Mumbai and came back in one day. I called my brother- in- law and asked how the reports were. He told me that “it might be TB, so let me consult my doctor friends, and I will get back to you.” Two days later, he took us to an oncologist. There, he revealed that there is something wrong in the reports. In the meantime, we got the tests done again in a cancer hospital, but all the reports showed that there is a tumour and it is Retro De-differentiated Lipo Sarcoma, which is a very rare type of soft tissue sarcoma.
It was shocking as to how and why it happened to me, but when we talked to the doctor, himself a Lung Cancer survivor, he told me a very positive thought, which struck my mind, The Doctors do the diagnosis, but it is you and your God who decides the prognosis.
When we came back home, we were in total shock, and I was just questioning myself with questions like why me? and Why have I been chosen for this? But these thoughts stayed in my mind only for 2-3 hours. Then I started thinking positive thoughts like, till now, God has given me all the rare and good things, so the cancer is also one among the rare ones. I told my wife the same thing, and her reply made me laugh, “In this case, I don’t want a rare thing, I just want our life to be completely normal.” The only thing we were thinking was to be strong and move forward.
I was diagnosed just two days before Holi. There was a Holi celebration in our society, and thoughts like Is this my last Holi? were creeping up into my mind. But then I went out and celebrated Holi with everyone. After coming back to my room, I made up my mind that the end could not be so soon and that too losing to a disease. This thought was continuous in my mind, along with the thought that I had to do a lot of things before I left this world. So, I shifted my mind completely towards the treatment and was hell bent on getting positive results.
I have lived in Japan for 25 years now. In Japan, because of the bomb attack, there are so many cancer patients. Cancer comes in common vocabulary here and is not a taboo word like in India. Everyone thinks that there are treatments for it, and we will get cured of it, just like any other disease. In fact, there are many cancer survivors in Japan who have survived for a very long time.
I wanted to start my treatment in Japan, so I came back to Japan with my son. We went and met the doctor there. In India, the doctors were saying that even though it was a rare type of cancer, it was in soft tissue and not in any organ so they could do the surgical process and take out the soft tissues, and then everything would be alright. But when we consulted the doctor in Japan, he saw the reports and said that the tumour is 20cm, and is in the third stage. He said that the tumour has to be taken out, and the left Kidney is also engulfed, so we have to take out the kidney too. It was too big a shock for us, but we tried to stay calm.
After two weeks, I went for an MRI and asked the doctor how the reports were looking now, but he said it’s the same as before. The doctor asked me to consult an orthopaedic oncologist. So my I went along with a friend to an orthopaedic oncologist who told us, We have to take out your femoral nerve, and added that we would keep a gastro oncologist in the operation theatre in standby so that while doing the surgery, if we find any impacts of cancer on your small intestine, then we can take out some parts of your small intestine too.”
The side effects of taking out the femoral nerve were that out of the three joints I have (hip, knee and ankle joint), any one or two or all three could get immobilized and I would have to walk with a stick throughout my life. That much was pretty sure and this was again, too much for us to digest.
When we came out of the doctor’s office, he invited us to his house as his wife was also a cancer survivor. So I went to his house along with my wife and son. His wife runs a beauty clinic. We met his wife, who was 55 years old, but was energetic, happy, and glowing. We got motivated after talking to her. She told us that she had uterine cancer, and had undergone Surgery for three times and had taken 36 Chemotherapy cycles. She told me to get inspired from her present situation and that I too will be okay soon, just like her. These words gave us immense strength.
We went home and thought that as the cancer was very aggressive, we should take a second opinion. In Japan, it’s very challenging to go to a big hospital, but we got the reference to a very good hospital through our friends and that too directly with the director. That was again, a grace of God. We always felt that God held our hand and guided us throughout our tough times.
That hospital was especially for sarcoma patients, so we thought that we were in better hands. The doctor saw the reports, and said that “The procedure is the same as the previous doctors told you, and our opinion is also that you go for it with them.
We replied that there was a slight issue regarding the date of the operation, which was scheduled for a much later date. We asked whether they could give us some early date so that we could get the operation done in their experts’ hands.
They checked and confirmed my Surgery for 26th July. I continued going to my office till the 20th since I believed that we should try to follow the normal routine as much as we could. Then, just two days before my operation, I got admitted to the hospital. The doctor again explained everything to me. I have thalassemia trait, so my haemoglobin level never goes more than 10. Because of the tumour, my HB level went down to 6, so the doctors told us that we would do the blood transfusion first, and when the HB level goes up, we will proceed with the Surgery.
When I went to the operation theatre and lay on the operating table, the first thing I heard was “OM.” I initially thought that I might have heard it since I was praying to God, but then I heard it again, and I started moving my head in search of the source. The anaesthetist came and introduced himself with OM and Namaste. I was surprised how a Japanese doctor could speak in Hindi, but then we talked, and I got to know that he is a Yoga practitioner and has also visited India.
And just that little bit of familiarity put me at ease and made me comfortable for my Surgery.
The Surgery went on for around 7 hours. I had a blood loss of 2 litres, and the cut was 27cm. I got my kidney and femoral nerve removed. I was then taken to the recovery room where the doctor asked me to move my legs, knees, and ankles. Surprisingly, I was able to move everything, and she was surprised at that. My recovery was fast and when we came back home, I was happy like a child that I had recovered.
The Unexpected Relapse
I had my regular check-up on 1st February, and the doctors said that everything was fine. But the next day I got a call from the doctor saying that we are suspecting something. They advised me to get a PET scan done on 8th February, which was incidentally our wedding anniversary.
We went to the hospital on 8th February and got the scan done. While we were waiting for the appointment, we were getting calls from India and Japan wishing us. But we didn’t let anyone know that we were in the hospital.
We made our food at home, and before the appointment, we had it at a nearby restaurant. It was drizzling too, so it felt like a picnic. While on one hand, there was the tension, on the other hand, we were enjoying a picnic. I believe in two things, “Life is short; eat the dessert first,” and “You do what you can do, and God will do what you cannot do.” I’ve always tried to live my life based on these beliefs.
When we met the doctor, they revealed that a reoccurrence had happened in three places; near small intestine, diaphragm, and L1. But it was adjacent and small tumours. The news of the relapse was a bigger shock than the first one. We were confused as to how it could happen again when my Surgery went well and I was leading a healthy life. But then I thought that I came out a winner from the first time, so I can do it again too. “No matter what, we should always have a positive attitude.”
The doctors said that they would try six Chemotherapy cycles first. After three Chemotherapy sessions, I had my CT scan done, and we got to know that the drug was not effective in my case, as the size of the tumour was increasing. So, the doctors asked for some time to decide whether to go with a different type of chemo or with radiation or operation. Later, they decided to go with radiation. So, I underwent 30 cycles of radiations. The good thing was that after radiation, the size of tumours got reduced, and the activity of cancer got decreased.
We started thinking about how we could reduce the effects of Chemotherapy and radiation, so we decided to focus more on the nutrition part.
Mrs. Nirupama Shares the Nutrition Part of Mr Atul
We were eating healthy food for so many years. So initially, when he got diagnosed, it came as a big shock for me because he himself was very health conscious. We were taking Organic food and were eating everything in moderation. But he was taking sugar because nobody told us that you could not take sugar. It was like if you are taking the quality food, you can have some sugar along with it, and that’s what we learned at the first stage. Likewise, the first phase had passed, and he got operated. But when it relapsed, it was a bigger shock because we were living an even healthier lifestyle.
After reoccurrence, I thought that there was something that we were lacking. I had been following a nutritionist for a long time, so I messaged him on Facebook that my husband is a cancer survivor, but he got relapsed, so I would like to consult with you. I was not expecting his reply, but then I got a message from his team that I could consult him. So, we got his consultation, and he told us that we were already following a good lifestyle. But I asked him that as my husband is undergoing chemotherapy, I wanted a proper nutrition plan for him.
I felt that it was a very good decision from our part to take his advice because even though we know what a good lifestyle is, and we get a lot of information from Google, at the treatment time, you need a mentor who guides you and checks on you to find where you are going wrong.
We followed his program, and he set Atul’s lifestyle in a good pattern. What we were doing irregularly, we started doing regularly. Then he went sugar-free, gluten-free, and dairy-free. For the after-effects of chemotherapy, we were given a Detoxification diet. I had to prepare the food three times a day and send them photos of it for evaluation. He was driving by himself, going to his chemo, coming back, and going to the office. Because of the proper nutrition, he was much healthier, and all the chemo and radiation effects were almost zero.
I believe that even though a lot of details are available on Google, information changes nothing, inspiration does. Inspiration comes from a mentor and thus if we don’t have a mentor, just following the information might not help us, since every individual has a different body, metabolism, and reaction to everything. So never be afraid to seek advice and try to find a professional to mentor you. The benefits will follow.
We won the second battle with the guidance of our onco nutritionist.
Being More Mindful to Prevent the Third Relapse
My radiation got finished in July 2018, and after that, we had the thought that since this has happened twice even after following the proper diet, we should now look for other alternative treatments that could completely and permanently remove cancer from my body.
We were trying to seek some help from somewhere and were also trying to gather information from someone who had prior experience since I did not want it to happen for a third time. One of my friend’s wife had renal cancer. She used to be in a terrible condition, with the initial treatment not working on her. She could not even walk without aid. Her husband took her to a Urine Therapy Centre in Anand Kunj. He suggested me that centre because those therapies worked for his wife and it’s been 5-6 years since she has been cancer-free. I was amazed and he explained the ideas of therapies to me.
We went there and saw that it was a more holistic learning centre. We stayed there for ten days. I did fasting for nine days and also tried urine therapy. I reduced 7-8 kilos weight in just ten days. I learned more discipline, importance of yoga, intermittent fasting, pranayama and the effects of meditation on our body. They taught everything in a theoretical and practical way. They told us to avoid the five whites, i.e.
- White salt
- White sugar
- White bread (wheat/maida)
- White rice
- Dairy products
They also taught us how to balance the five elements of nature in your body and how to feel your body. I also learned the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) there.
The Third Relapse
I was following the techniques I learned in Anand Kunj. I went to India in January and was planning to come to Anand Kunj every six months to rejuvenate myself. But in July, when I had my CT scan, I got to know that the cancer had metastasized to my lungs.
Again, it was shocking, but the position in which it was, was quite disturbing. It was in the centre of the heart and on the upper lobe. If it was on the side, the doctors said they could have cut a part of the lung, and it would have been okay. But in my case, they had to eradicate the upper lobe. My primary doctor said that we could go for Chemotherapy first, but when I went to the chemotherapist, he said that I should do the Surgery itself first. Then, when I went to the surgeon, he said that you should go for chemotherapy, and if it is reduced in chemotherapy, then we will go for the operation, as if it doesn’t reduce, we may not have a chance of operating at all.
I have some of my school friends in the US who are oncologists, so I talked to them, and they said that I should go for chemo first, but one of them said that if it could be removed, then I should first go for an operation. I went for the second opinion again, and the doctor said that We would do operation first, and after that you will never have any breathing problem. You would be free to go high altitude or sky diving as you wished. This really boosted our confidence.
Before one month of my operation, one of my friends introduced me to his friend who was doing research in the effects of Intermittent fasting on cancer. I got in touch with him, and he asked about my journey. He said that I had been doing quite well, but in order to reach my goal, I had to retrace my steps and see what I missed. He advised me that before the operation, I should start Intermittent fasting for 18 hours, and that I should start immediately. It was hard for me, but I managed to do that. It had a very positive effect on my body, my immunity got boosted, and I was ready for my operation. I also did three days of liquid fasting under his guidance before the Surgery. One of my wife’s friends did Pranic Healing for me, and it gave me a lot of positivity heading into the Surgery.
I went to the operation theatre with a very positive mind- set. I had 3 inches cut on my left side, and the operation was completed in 2-3 hours. Recovery was also speedy and within a week, I came back home.
Mr. Atul Shares His Learning
I am a learner from the beginning, and I said to my kids too that “You don’t die when your heart stops beating, you die when you stop learning.” That is what my mantra is, and I always tried to learn more and more about holistic healing and other approaches.
During this journey and before that, too, I think what helped me was reading a lot of inspirational books by authors like Louise Hay. I also did the art of living course in 2007, and that was the beginning of my spiritual journey. After that, in Jaipur, there is a school named Sehaj Marg, which is now famous for the name of heart-fullness, where I learned a lot of things. I learned gratitude and constant remembrance. I feel both these go hand in hand. Gratitude is towards some superior force; in the form of God or whatever you believe in, and remembrance is the state of gratitude you are always in, constantly remembering him. So, if we follow these two things in life, then most of our problems get automatically solved.
I learned meditation too. In between my Cancer Journey, I did a course with Sidh Samadhi Yoga (SSY) and learned lots of things there that show how we are responsible for a lot of things in our life. I also did the Isha Foundation Course.
I have been following a whole integrated approach, and I believe that all the things that happened to me was due to the grace of God, because if you don’t have his blessings on you, then you won’t seek or work on that path or you won’t even know about that path!
The most important thing is, if you are hungry, you never ever let your hunger die. If the spirit of hunger is there, then only you can achieve what you want to achieve. You set your goal, you achieve it, and every time you have to raise it higher. As in my case also, as the first step, I set a goal, I achieve it, and in the second step, I had to raise it higher. If it was not raised higher, then I wouldn’t have achieved what I have achieved, and on the third stage again, the same thing happened. You need to look at how you can improve yourself and set the bar higher with every step in life.
Ms. Nirupama Shares her ‘Me Time’ Experience
I always used to go to the Krishna Temple, and that was how I made my ‘me time’. I used to walk for 45 minutes to go to the temple, and in those 45 minutes, I used to do the things that I wanted to, and that gave me a lot of strength. I feel it is of utmost importance that the caregivers take some time out for themselves in some way.
I was with my husband through everything, whether it be in changing diet or going for urine therapy. But when I look back, I feel that I was guided by a force to do that because it gave me and my husband a lot of strength to go through all the things in life. We were always in a positive mind set by God’s Grace. Now we are on the stage where we take life as it comes.
Mr. Atul’s Kids Shares Their Experience
Anushree- For me, I think the journey was different because most of the time, I was in India as I was in my 11th and 12th standard when all of this happened. So, I was away from the three of them, during the operation time as well. It was difficult in the sense that I had to make sure that I was also giving strength to my grandmother as I was living with my grandparents. I was trying to be strong in the sense that I didn’t want them to think that I was going weak. We were all giving strength to each other. We were all trying to be strong.
But I think that mom, dad, and my brother were very strong throughout and did everything very bravely and managed to come out of it. I feel it was a good thing that I was in India because I don’t think I would have been as strong as them. But I am glad that I was there after the operation to help my mom, dad, and brother in the journey.
Now my mom and I have a nice time in creating new innovations, especially when it comes to food items because it’s all gluten-free and oil-free, but we still try to make cakes, samosas, and everything for dad so that he doesn’t miss out on anything.
Aditya- When the initial diagnosis happened during Holi, I was in Delhi visiting some of my friends. I wasn’t in contact with my parents at that time. So, for me, it was a surprise when I came back to Jaipur. But in hindsight, I thought that the timing was excellent time because I was coming to Japan anyway. I had been in the US for three years before that. For me, it didn’t feel very real until the Surgery. Even when the initial diagnosis happened, I felt that if at least if I could be with him, it would be something positive for me.
I remember that I didn’t really have a very emotional reaction until the day of the Surgery. After the Surgery was over, my mom was staying in the hospital overnight. I came back home alone, and I was in the balcony, and that’s when I let out a scream because I was like Yes, We did it, the Surgery was successful! That was the only moment when I let out some real emotion. But I think it’s essential to let out your feelings periodically because otherwise it could get suppressed inside you so, which won’t be a good thing. I feel that it’s important to manage your emotions and to talk to the counselor about how you are feeling throughout the process.