“Will you marry me knowing that I have cancer and I have a permanent colostomy?” – Nitesh said to me from the ICU room.
Not all love stories begin like this; mine neither. My story began when I first met him at the IIM C start-up conference and discovered how stressful his life was. A young entrepreneur, stellar at studies, a prodigy who believed in perfection – nothing changed when he was diagnosed with colon cancer. He was the same strong, but cancer soon took a toll on him. I started taking care of him, made meals for him, and never realized when I fell in love with him… Life was beautiful, but nothing was more beautiful than his sweet proposal from the ICU room… Listen to how my love story began here…
Walking down the memory lane, I sometimes ask myself………….what is chaos?
“Entering into a new phase of life…taking responsibility to heal your loved one…running around hospitals…pain during chemo cycles…fear of shutting down startup…guilt of not being able to help brother…placement pressure…college classes…cooking meals…fracture in backbone…???”
No… Chaos is nothing but a reminder to re-prioritize things. What is important is to find happiness and peace amidst all the chaos.
I found my peace and happiness when my parents arrived and showered us with love, care and support. Happiness was Joka me Roka (English: engagement) after convocation. Happiness was seeing my loved one smile without shedding a tear.
This episode is about happiness amidst chaos…
We finally thought that our life was about to enter into a new phase of happiness and joy after a long and difficult period of struggle. However, we were unaware of the dark clouds that were coming to take us down. We had nowhere to go, and nowhere to hide. It was even difficult to face each other, me knowing that he would soon die, and that I had to hide this from him. I could feel that we were sinking in a deep dark hole, and I couldn’t see any way out of it. With each passing day, we were sinking further in the loop of mixed emotions, fear, endless treatment and intolerable side-effects. But this time, there was no definite end to what we were going through. Each moment, I was looking for something that might not even exist, but something that could give us hope.