Healing Circle Talks: Ms Shilpa – Emotional & mental wellness

Shilpa Mazumder emotional and mental wellness healing circle webinar

About the Healing Circle:

The Healing Circle is a sacred space based on the foundation of love, kindness and respect. It offers a “safe haven” to cancer patients, survivors and caregivers; it helps them to share their feelings and experiences in their journey with Cancer. Our role is to hear everyone with compassion and treat each person with equal honor. Wherever needed, we keep them confidential. We believe that we possess the guiding spirit within us, and we rely on the power of silence to access it.

About the Speaker:

Ms Shilpa Mazumder is a clinical psychologist, having an MBA degree in Healthcare Operations. She has worked with hospitals like Tata Memorial and KEM. Ms Mazumder received training in Advanced Mindfulness from MBSR, and also in Palliative Care from Stanford University.

Ms Shilpa Mazumder explains “Cancer”:

She says that Cancer is a group of diseases, and there are more than 100 types of Cancer. Our body cells grow, age, damage, and eventually die. This is the routine biological process.

 

However, the problem arrives when abnormal or damaged cells do not die. New cells get formed, though not needed. These extra cells continue to divide continuously. There is no end to their proliferation, and this may create a growth called “tumor”.

 

This tumor is of two types – benign and malignant. Benign tumors are non-cancerous, whereas malignant tumors are cancerous. Even though benign tumors are non-cancerous, they can be life-threatening if found in the brain.

 

There are several tests like CT Scan, PET Scan, Mammogram, CBC, Tumor Markers, Colonoscopy, etc. to find out whether the tumor is cancerous or not.

Cancer Treatments Available:

  • 1. Surgery – This refers to a surgical procedure that can remove the tumor.
  • 2. Chemotherapy – A drug that kills cancer cells.
  • 3. Radiotherapy – High power energy/radio beams given to kill cancer cells.
  • 4. Bone Marrow Transplant – A medical procedure to replace damaged bone marrow with a new one. New blood stem cells are transplanted, which can produce new blood cells and promote new growth of bone marrow. These stem cells can be used from ones own cells, or a donor’s.
  • 5. Hormone Therapy – Hormones that feed cancer cells are either removed from the body or blocked.
  • 6. Immuno/Biological Therapy – The immune system of the person is boosted, or strengthened, to fight cancer cells.
  • 7. Targeted Drug Therapy – The particular abnormalities in the cancer cells are targeted for therapy.
  • 8. Cryo Ablation – A thin, wand-like needle is inserted through the skin directly into the cancerous tumor to freeze the tissues. This is done repeatedly to kill the cancerous cells.
  • 9. Radio-frequency Ablation – Electrical energy is used through a needle to kill the cancer cells by giving them heat.
  • 10. Clinical Trials – Thousands of cancer clinical trials are underway to treat Cancer.

The Significance of Wellness:

Our emotional or mental wellness refers to the conscious and self-directed decision we make while facing any problem. It is always active in our mind consciously or subconsciously. To ensure a healthy state of mental wellness is more like a preventive measure.

 

There are eight dimensions of wellnesses surrounding us at all time –

 

  • 1. Emotional
  • 2. Occupational
  • 3. Intellectual/psychological
  • 4. Environmental
  • 5. Financial
  • 6. Social
  • 7. Spiritual
  • 8. Physical

Physical Wellness – Exercise, nutrition, sleep, etc. are covered under physical wellness.
Through exercising, certain hormones, such as endorphins, are released in the body. These help to fight with the pain.

 

Following healthy and balanced nutrition can help to prevent or overcome several vital issues. We may often neglect sleep, but sleep is essential for body rejuvenation.

 

Environmental Wellness – Healthy air, water, food and biodiversity are covered under physical wellness. Especially in the time of COVID, it is all the more important to gain fresh air, water and food.

Wellness and Wellbeing:

There is a thin line of difference between wellness and wellbeing. Wellness is a preventive measure that we sought to, whereas wellbeing is a state in which we feel happy. For patients, it is important what perception they have towards life, which refers to their wellbeing.

 

In wellness, there are certain conditions, but in wellbeing there are no such conditions. As our wellness improves, it begins to impact our wellbeing too. Wellbeing is very personal, whereas wellness is often a shared phenomenon.
Wellbeing promotes self-growth, whereas, in wellness, we move in a particular area that has a problem.

Problems associated with Cancer:

Physical – Cancer generally affects the state of physical wellness. It makes you feel fatigued, affects your appetite, weight and sleep. Many cancer sufferers also experience nausea and tingling sensations.

 

Some feel pain, and in many hospitals, patients receive sessions on pain management. They may be asked the type of pain they are experiencing – is it accumulated pain, or shooting pain? Is their medication for pain working?

 

Some patients face dryness, ulcers in the mouth, and constipation too.

 

Social – Cancer affects not just the patient but the entire family. Each of their roles and responsibilities change and develop.

 

Sometimes, patients feel affected by their baldness. So, they stop going out. This also leads to social isolation. You may have to move to another city for better treatment. This may affect you financially.

 

Spiritual – This is a neglected aspect of care, but has an equal impact on health. Religion is one part of spirituality, but walking in the woods, being near nature and enjoying it – these are part of spirituality. It helps you connect with a higher power.

 

When your loved ones are there for you, giving you strength, taking care of you, spiritual wellness plays an important role.

 

What you live for, what wishes you have, what matters for you, in which dimension of your life you have to work, how you want to move forward – these are all part of spirituality, and it helps patients in their recovery and healing.

 

Triggers – When Cancer is diagnosed, first there comes denial, and then anger. We often question ourselves, “Why me?”, “We haven’t done anything wrong; we haven’t smoked or drank.” Some get into a depression, thinking that what is to be done now. Then slowly, we come into acceptance – “Okay, we are diagnosed with cancer, so what next needs to be done.”

 

Everyone faces this cycle; some come out and accept everything early while some take time.

 

When we have appointments with doctors or for medical tests, we get scared. Many things go into your mind, like “What will happen to our plans? How will we manage things financially? What treatment should be taken? How to cope up with pain? ” So, all these things make you anxious and trigger you mentally and emotionally.

 

Emotional wellness – Emotions are like waves; sometimes, we are very happy, sometimes sad, and disappointed, and then again, we get motivated and happy. So, emotions are not static. Feelings come and go. These are not permanent things, so the good part is that we don’t have to make permanent decisions based on these. We just have to feel accepted, heal and move forward with life. This is our growth – in experiencing and receiving all our emotions together.

Simply, the brain consists of 3 parts:-

• Reptile brain, which is very basic and believes in fear, flight and fight.
• Animal brain, which has emotions like anger, and drives fear and aggression.
• Human brain, which is very complex and creative, with problem-solving and strategies.

 

When we fear something, we either try to run away or think that we will be part of it. At that time, our front brain becomes foggy. So, when we are stressed, we are advised to meditate and engage in other mindful exercises that can give clarity and peace.

Other aspects attached to emotional wellness are –

  • Altered cognition
  • Helplessness
  • Hopelessness
  • Guilt
  • Shame
  • Regret
  • Unresolved guilt
  • Forgiveness

Hopelessness – The way you are touched with reality, matters. We should have real hope; it is like an inner drive. It offers you light in dark times. Having a real hope and a real outlook help better.

 

Shame – Have compassion and empathy for yourself too. It is really okay if you get Cancer. It is nothing to be felt ashamed about, as it is not your fault.

 

Regret – Some get under the thinking that there are things left undone. “Now I don’t have much time left to do them.” It creates regret and anger, which stops us from moving forward. So, the main coping mechanisms for these situations are forgiving yourself and having gratitude. Forgive yourself and others around you, and have gratitude for life.

 

Mental Wellness – There is a Tetris effect – mentally what you repeatedly do, you become one. Everything starts with the way you think, and how your thoughts are. When you think one thought repeatedly, it becomes your desire, and then that becomes your belief system. It is like a camera lens; it sees everything and then comes into the frame. Likewise, your thoughts too focus through the same frame.

 

Then comes learning – what you saw, how many new words you learnt, which cities have cancer treatment, and how much knowledge you gained.

This kind of learning has nothing to do with your education; you gain experiential learning in this journey.

 

Then comes problem-solving – how much you are ready to face everything, and how you move forward with new ideas. It defines your mental wellness, which helps you manage the situation while you are going through any illness.

Questions on Cancer Journey:

Generally, patients have certain questions like what treatment they should take, how the procedure will go, how it will work for them, etc.

 

Then in between, sometimes doctors change the treatment goal. So, the question arrives –

  • Why is my treatment being changed?
  • How should you come for follow-ups if there is a recurrence?
  • How would we get to know that Cancer reappeared?
  • What thoughts should we have on this journey?
  • If we recover or our treatment is complete, then how should we move forward?
  • What precautions should we take to prevent a relapse?

These are some common questions.

Care for Caregivers:

Majorly, this area is neglected. Everyone focusses on patients; no one thinks of caregivers who are always with the patient, day and night, ignoring their health, food, career, job, studies, and their own medical issues.

 

Caregivers neglect their own problems, but it is crucial that they take care of themselves first. During a flight journey, it is said that first, you should put your oxygen mask and then help others.
Likewise, if a caregiver is not healthy or taking care of oneself, then how they would be able to take care of their patients.

 

It is not selfish. Caregivers need to take care of themselves to serve your near and dear ones better. Caring is rewarding; if you get a chance to take care of your loved ones, give them love. However, not at the cost of your own health.

 

It is okay sometimes to say no. It is okay to ask for help, divide your work amongst the family members so that everyone can get a break to do their own work. Self-care is essential for all.

The Way Ahead

No matter where the patient is, s/he should be in a comfortable state. When we see patients experiencing pain, nausea, constipation, etc., make them feel comfortable. Look at the areas where they are facing an issue, and then comfort them.

 

Quality of life has many dimensions, like

  • Financial status
  • Education
  • Health
  • How and where you live

All these areas make up your quality of life.

 

You should ensure that your condition does not deteriorate. If there is anything at all, you should immediately go to your primary care doctor and inform them that these are the areas where you are facing difficulties.

 

We advise patients to continue with their social life. Never be in the state of isolated or withdrawal. It is good to be part of social events because that will give you the reassurance that people want you. Your oxytocin and serotonin will provide you with a real rush (those are the happy hormones, you see).

 

They will make you feel good about your self-esteem; what you think and feel about yourself is after all, very important. Your self-esteem will boost up your confidence and problem-solving ability by a higher degree.

 

Advanced care is also a critical area. You should talk about it if something happens to you, what future plans you want, your bank account, your will, your insurance, and so on. If you are in a condition where you cannot make decisions, then decide who will decide for you. Most importantly, “who will decide if you want to be on life support or not?”

 

These are covered under advanced care, which is very much ignored in India.

 

Those around us generally feel that we do not want to talk, but it is important to talk and focus on planning that in case something should happen to you, then who will take decisions on your behalf, in terms of medical, family, investment, etc.

Activities:

Cancer patients or survivors can have a gratitude jar, in which they can write daily that who helped them, or write a letter for your loved ones, forgiving letters, and things that make them feel grateful.

 

They should engage themselves in activities that make them feel happy, that is, hobbies like painting, reading, meditation, or any other new habit. Such activities decrease stress levels and increase coping levels.

Take-Home Messages:

  • Set a goal for living
  • What you want to do?
  • For whom you want to live?
  • What is your passion?
  • How healthily you wish to live?

Life lessons –

  • Make complicated things simple
  • Keep your thoughts simple
  • Learn to forgive
  • Express gratitude
  • Have self-compassion
  • Prioritize your relations
  • Develop a happy state
  • Try serenity prayers
  • Form a mission in your life

 

You should have something in your life apart from Cancer. That should also be part of your daily activity, because the disease is just one area.

 

You have to see yourself as a person. If you focus on the disease too much, you will miss the person in you. Along with that, focus on the other dimensions that trigger that person in you.

 

Try joining support groups; they help you take and share your experience and knowledge with people you can feel one.

End of Life Care:

Meeting an end to your life care is not the end of your life. It is a part of living your usual life; what is with you.

 

In the area of your disease, in which part you have pain and seek what we can do to reduce that.

 

In the area of spirituality, identify where you want to connect with people; ask for forgiveness and show gratitude to those who have been a part of your life.

 

In your personal area, make peace with yourself. Life is never fair, but from this journey, what you are taking, and what legacy you are giving to your children, friends, dear ones – that is what matters.

 

In the areas of legality, check your insurance, who would take care of you if you are not in a position to make decisions, who will decide on your behalf, how your family would be taken care, etc.

 

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